you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize