hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize