Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My legs feel like baby dolphins
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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