Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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