Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize