Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize