I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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