Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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