No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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