Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
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Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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