My nipple is on Facebook.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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