ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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