there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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