I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
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I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
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I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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