just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize