its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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