He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize