The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize