I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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