She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
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I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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