I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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