My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize