Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
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if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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