Who wears a wallet chain?!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We need to rekindle our bromance
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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