You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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