i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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