Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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