dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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