We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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