I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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