You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize