But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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