just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize