You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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