Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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