haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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