i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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