Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize