So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize