I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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