Non-Jews are for practice
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize