i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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