Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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