You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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