yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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