He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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