Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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