You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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