Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize