shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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